The cave was discovered when the hikers followed the distinct smell of espresso to its entrance. Upon entering, they found the walls painted with scenes of picnics and absinthe drinkers and the floors littered with empty bottles of the hallucinatory liqueur.
Through the process of cabron-dating, which involves reading the label on the bottle, it was confirmed the absinthe was from the Napoleonic Era.
“We had heard legends of Frenchmen being sighted in the area,” said hiker Jay Tencule, “but this is the first time anyone found concrete evidence of their existence.”
According to researchers, the Frenchmen were filmed returning from a hunting party, laden with cartons of Gauloise cigarettes, wine, cheese and flour for making baguettes.
“That was all the evidence we needed to know they were French,” said Beau Liyo, researcher from the Universidad Autonoma de Tlaxcalatechingo.
When confronted by researchers, the Frenchmen put up a fight, but naturally lost.
Researchers were able to communicate with the initially-frightened Frenchmen through offensive hand gestures and deep conversations about philosophy and the meaning of existence.
Although it is a mystery how the Frenchmen were able to reproduce for 150 years while remaining virtually cut off from the modern world, researchers believe it has some relation to the history of unexplained pregnancies in the nearby village of San Quassante de Pardu, a community known for its rudeness and where names such as Pancheau, Pableau and Ernesteau are common.
Parents in Puebla have long used the legend of the silent Frenchmen, known as mimitos, to frighten children into going to sleep early. It is many a Puebla mother who has warned her child, “Be careful orlos mimitos will bring you creamy pastries and heavy meals of rich foods that will give you nightmares if you eat them late at night.”
While never particularly effective, this legend nevertheless instilled a fear of mimes that runs deep in the people of Puebla to this day.
The discovery of the Frenchmen has created a sensation on the eve of the 150th Anniversary of the Battle of Puebla, during which Mexican peasants defeated the heavily-armed French army.
In a TV Azteca interview about the discovery of the Frenchman, Mexican President Felipe Calderón took the opportunity to wax philosophical on the eve of the Battle of Puebla’s anniversary.
“History will never know what the outcome of the Battle of Puebla would have been if this lost patrol had fought on that fateful Cinco de Mayo in 1862,” pondered Calderón. “Perhaps we would be speaking French. Perhaps we would have had great cinema during the 1970s instead of ficheras. Perhaps we would have berets the size of sombreros. Perhaps our pan dulce would not be so dry.”
After pausing a moment, Calderón continued, “Or we would have still beaten them con puros chingazos, only perhaps less quickly.”
Source: Democratic Underground